On Eagles' Wings

This is a late post from my devotional thoughts two weeks ago. Quarantine life can be busy, that's all I can say.

In Exodus 19, God speaks to Moses after having delivered the Israelites from the Egyptians. He instructs Moses to tell the people:

You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles' wings, and brought You to Myself. 

I have read this many times in my Christian life. I have even sung this many times in my Christian life. But, now, for the first time in my life I am wondering why did God choose to reference the eagle in this passage? Every American should be familiar with the bald eagle as an emblem of our country, signifying freedom. If I bring that idea to this text; however, I introduce error by imposing my own culture upon the culture to whom God was speaking through Moses.

I haven't spent too much time thinking about the eagle's characteristics, I guess, because I don't see eagles very often. However, I imagine that the image of an eagle would have been more relevant to the nomadic culture addressed here. What are the notable qualities of the eagle? I can think of three. First, eagles are extremely powerful. Second, they have extraordinary eyesight. Third, they are known to soar higher than any other bird. I think this last quality is where the heart of the meaning of this verse lies. As I read and write, I am picturing an eagle swooping down and then soaring to great heights.

Perhaps God chooses to reference the eagle to illustrate what He has saved the Israelites FROM and TO. He has performed miraculous signs in front of all the Egyptians, displaying His superiority to the gods of the Egyptians. This all culminated with Him leading the Israelites safely across the Red Sea and then drowning the entire Egyptian army. Thus, God delivered the Israelites FROM a state of servitude to men. Not only did He bring them out, but He also brought them TO a place far above this servitude, the very presence of the true and living GOD. There is certainly no higher place.

How blessed we are to have been delivered from the kingdom of darkness and transported into the kingdom of light. Because God the Father planned, because the God the Son carried out, and because God the Holy Spirit applied this salvation to our hearts, we have been set free from our bondage to sin. Now, we are free to worship the true living God and to dwell in His presence forever and ever.

Why Frogs?

Over the course of the past week, I read Exodus 8 through 17. This portion of Scripture is a narrative explaining the many plagues that God brought upon Egypt culminating in the exodus of God's people from Egypt into the wilderness. I was curious about the particular plagues that are recounted in this passage. In particular, why frogs? Personally, I find frogs kinda gross, but not particularly threatening. So, why did God threaten Pharaoh that his land would be filled with frogs if he did not release the Israelites? Egypt was a polytheistic culture with numerous gods. It turns out that one of them was Heqet, a goddess of fertility, who represented in the form of a frog. Thus, through this plague God demonstrates to everyone in Egypt, including the Israelites, that He is more powerful than this god. And so it is with all the plagues. With each plague, God demonstrates that He is the One true Creator, the One true Sustainer, the One true Judge.

This passage really just came alive to me this week and I really heard God speaking: "Worship ME. Honor ME. Serve ME." Some verses that really stood out include:

• Exodus 11:3 Furthermore, the man Moses himself was greatly esteemed in the land of Egypt, both in the sight of Pharaoh's servants and in the sight of the people. 
• Exodus 12:12 Against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgments--I am the LORD. 
• Exodus 14:4 The Egyptians will know that I am the LORD. 
• Exodus 14:31 When Israel saw the great power which the LORD had used against the Egyptians, the people feared the LORD, and they believed in the LORD and in His servant Moses.

This is the purpose of my life. Not money. Not pleasures. Not beauty. Not fame. Not anything this world offers. The goal of my life is simply to reflect. To reflect the might and power and glory of my God so that more and more may see and worship also. 

The Battle

This week I have been reading the beginning of the Exodus. Another familiar story, but God's word is living and active and He speaks through even familiar stories. Moses and Aaron, called by God, approach the Pharaoh of Egypt. They demand that the Hebrew people, who are bound in slavery to the Egyptians, be set free. Of course, the Pharaoh refuses. So, Moses and Aaron request the people be permitted to go into the wilderness to worship the Lord. Not only does the Pharaoh refuse this request. He also punishes the Hebrew slaves even more. While previously they had been provided straw to make a quota of bricks, now they must gather their own straw and still produce the exact same quota. Of course this is impossible and the foremen are beaten for their laziness and inability to perform. This is the part that struck me. What is the response of the Hebrew foremen? They blame Moses and Aaron, saying: " May the Lord look upon you and judge you, for you have made us odious in Pharaoh’s sight and in the sight of his servants, to put a sword in their hand to kill us.” In the midst of their oppression, they see the very ones sent by God to deliver them as their enemy. The reader, however, can see a more accurate picture of what is really happening. We see that Moses and Aaron are being sent by God, the sovereign I AM. They are merely instruments of the faithful God, who made a covenant with the people, who are held in bondage. We also see in Exodus 4:21 the reason for Pharaoh's response: "I will harden his heart so that he will not let the people go." This is not a battle between Moses and Aaron and the Hebrews or between Moses and Aaron and the Pharaoh. Of course, it cannot be, for our battle is not against flesh and blood. This is a battle between a good God and the forces of evil. 

In a way, I see similar responses in our current situation. Some blame the federal government. Some blame the health officials. Some blame the scientists. Some blame the local government. Isn't that similar to what the Hebrew slaves did? Is our battle against other people? I answer no. There is a much larger battle going on, between God and the spiritual forces of evil. If that is what I truly believe, then my response to this global pandemic should fall in line. How can I respond to a battle that occurs in the spiritual realm? I must fight this battle with prayer.

The Faith of Joseph

Certainly, the story of Joseph found in the book of Genesis is one of the most exciting in Scripture. Favoritism and jealousy. Seduction and lies. Clemency and execution.  Rags and riches. Guilt and forgiveness. My devotions were action-packed, for sure.

There is so much to glean from the story of Joseph. Flee from sin. Trust in God's sovereignty. Forgive your enemies. Every gift is from God and for His glory. But, this time around, God was teaching me something different. So many questions surfaced in my mind, all about Joseph's faith. Clearly, Joseph was a man of strong faith. What did that faith look like from day to day? Did he ever question God? Did he ask God WHY? Why did you allow this to happen? Did he ask God WHY? Why am I here? Personally, when I am going through a hard spell, I pray, read God's Word, and talk and pray with a trusted friend. These are things that God uses to encourage me and to strengthen my faith when it is tested. So, I'm wondering about Joseph because he had no written word and probably no comrades. His would-be comrades were the ones who landed him in slavery and ultimately a jail cell. So, I am left to conclude that (1)  God alone was not only the source of his faith but also the sustainer of his faith and (2) God's Word was in his heart.

So, my application from this text is to work hard to hide God's Word in my heart. Who knows? The time may come when God's word is taken from us. If that happens, then what will we have? Only what is in our hearts. Even if we retain access to God's Word, we may lose our eyesight. We may lose our hearing. We may lose our minds. BUT, no one can take away what is in our hearts. 

A long time ago, I played piano for a church service in a retirement home. There was this one woman named Elizabeth, who suffered from Alzheimer's. During our 20 minute service, she would shout out probably at least ten times the same thing, "I LOVE you. I just LOVE you and THANK you." It was kind of annoying, but also heart-warming. Over the years, this woman had stored up love for God and His Word and that came out of her mouth over and over and over. She just didn't remember she had said it already. I hope that when I am old and gray and in a retirement home that God's Word will continue to pour forth from my mouth. But, more importantly, I hope that the Word will bear the fruit of a heart dedicated to the Lord.

JACOB

JACOB. I have never understood the appeal of this name. Apologies to all the Jacobs of this world. It has nothing to do with you. In the past reading about Jacob in the Bible has left me with one and only one word connection. You say, "JACOB," I say, "DECEIVER." He deceived Esau and obtained his birthright. He deceived Isaac and obtained his blessing. I even wonder are there other events not recorded in Scripture of his deceit? It seems like Jacob had developed a pattern of getting by trickery. He sounds like the type of guy I would caution my kids to avoid.

Yet, it is to this deceiver, this trickster, that God revealed the staircase going up to heaven, with angels ascending and descending. Further, God promises: I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you. This kinda rubbed me the wrong way. Like, why does this guy get away with this stuff? Certainly, God's gotta know what is in his heart. Terrible things happened when Abraham failed to trust God and sought his blessing in alternative ways. Hagar anyone?

We all know what happens next. Jacob gets a taste of his own medicine with his relative Laban. He gets tricked into marrying both Leah and Rachel and working for a sum total of 14 years, not to mention having his wages changed repeatedly. Through all this hardship, God is with him and blesses him.

When Jacob finally runs away from Laban, it seems that this deceiver has undergone a significant heart change. Terrified of Esau, who years earlier had wanted to kill him because of his deceit, he prays to God. This prayer is very revealing: I am unworthy of all the lovingkindness and of all the faithfulness which You have shown to Your servant. Then, later that very night, he wrestles with God, saying, I will not let you go unless you bless me.

Now, I really like this guy. I guess that's not quite right. I really like what God has done in this guy. I like that he sees himself correctly before the holy God. He sees that he is a sinner, undeserving of God's love and faithfulness. He also sees his position in God's kingdom. Although he is the next chosen patriarch of God's people, he sees himself as God's servant. Lastly, he sees so clearly that his greatest need is God's blessing. Convinced of this, he wrestles and fights with all that he has for God's blessing. No longer is he trying to obtain this blessing through deception. Rather, he humbles himself and begs and pleads and understands that God's blessing is conditioned upon one thing and one thing only: God's covenantal love and faithfulness.

So, if your baby-making factory is still open, I endorse the name Jacob for your progeny.

I AM the Resurrection and the Life

Our pastor has been preaching through the seven I AM statements of Jesus. On Easter Sunday, the sermon was, quite appropriately, on Jesus' statement found in John 11:15 I am the resurrection and the life. I have honestly always read this and thought about it in terms of Jesus being the only One who can give us spiritual life. Through the sermon and reflection time afterwards, God is showing me that this also applies to my life here on earth.

Over the past several months, a sinful discontentment has been rising within my heart. Every single one of my kids is going through their own unique trials crafted by God's loving hands, but sometimes it is just overwhelming to try to walk with each one of them through their trials. I am so often tempted to give up. Often, I have the thought that life would be so much easier if they just went to public school. Maybe you want to know, what really is so hard about being a stay-at-home mom?

Not one particular thing, honestly. Parenting and discipleship is just emotionally exhausting. When I try to help two parties to make peace, but it really doesn't seem like they even want to reconcile, it is exhausting. When I have to confront one of the kids about a sin, but I know I will be met with hostility and blame-shifting and finger-pointing, it is exhausting. When I have to remind someone again and again to do something knowing full well that they will not appreciate the reminder and STILL forget, it is exhausting. And exhaustion leads to frustration and frustration leads to discouragement and discouragement leads to quitting.

So, I am convinced that I need to draw strength moment by moment from the source of life, Jesus.

Seek Peace

It has been such a blessing to be able to take this week as a time of reflection on Jesus' ultimate sacrifice on the cross. Too often I find myself caught up in the daily grind, in cooking and laundry and cleaning and teaching and managing and shepherding and discipling and grading and ... Often, I just don't take the time to remember how dark a place I was in when God saved me, the true despair I felt when he opened my heart to respond to the gospel and the great joy and freedom that I experienced when I entered into a relationship with Him.

I wonder if I am alone. I wonder if just the busyness of life in this world keeps us from evaluating our hearts before God. Perhaps social distancing measures afford us a great opportunity with the removal of so much that could occupy our time. Now is our chance to evaluate the state of our own hearts before God and to seek answers to the meaningful questions of life.

The most important question we can ask is what will happen when I die. What will happen when I die? One of my favorite illustrations of the significance of this question comes from Francis Chan. He takes a reaaaaalllly long rope and then has one inch of it colored a different color. That inch of rope represents our life on this earth. The rest represents the time spent in eternity. What we do during that inch determines how we spend the remainder of the rope. If we confess our sins and trust in Jesus during this inch of time, then we also will spend the rest of the rope with Him in glory.

In order to answer the question what will happen when I die, we have to come to an understanding of who we are and who God is. I think we all know in our hearts that God is and that He is holy and righteous and good. I also think, after being quarantined with our families for nearly a month, we also know that we are sinners as is every other human being. But, here's the thing, because God is holy and we are sinful, we can't be together. We can't have a relationship. We are enemies. Since we are created to worship, we end up worshiping other things trying to satisfy that inner longing. Beauty. Sports. Friends. Movies. Success. Education. Money. Music. Religion. The list goes on and on. Ultimately, though, pursuing one of these things fills but does not satisfy the true need of our heart. So, then the question is how CAN this inner longing be satisfied? Not just filled, but satisfied.

And that, my friends, is what this Easter season is all about. Our true need is peace. Peace with God. We long for that relationship with God, for true peace and rest. God sent His only Son Jesus as a sacrifice for us. We sinned. He paid the price for our sins, by being beaten, tortured and crucified. And why? Because of the Father's great love for us. This still blows my mind. Why does God save me? God does not need me for his happiness or completeness. So why bother to save anyone? His salvation is a true gift borne out of His love.

My desire is for you to take the time to consider whether you have this peace in your heart. I am here to help you and pray with you and study and seek the Lord and His peace with you.

I'm just going to end this post with the words of one of my favorite praise songs, an oldie for sure but a goodie forever. This song always reminds me of how God just changed the course of my life in an instant with His love, joy, and peace.

He gave me beauty for ashes
The oil of joy for mourning
The garment of praise
For the spirit of heaviness
That we might be trees of righteousness
The planting of the Lord
That He might be glorified.

Conflict

I really like the abbreviated term for coronavirus: COVID. In our house, I believe it stands for: Come Out Vexation In Droves. Seriously. The conflict in this house has increased. A LOT! More often than not the fighting is over such petty things. I'll give you five examples of real situations.

• Who will be the first to do Veritas Bible--Come on, really? You wanna fight about being the first to learn about the Prince of Peace?!?
• What route we take on our run/bikeride--Whatever route we take, we're gonna start at the same spot and end at the same spot, talk to no one, touch nothing, and the distance will be the same. Does it really matter?
• Thefts--OK, I almost understand this, except the item that we're talking about is a...PENCIL. A PENCIL. Yellow. No eraser. #2. No finger grip. No design. Geez. If you wanna fight for a pencil, at least make it for one with an eraser!
• Looks--Mama, he's looking at me! You are sitting across from him. Of course, he's looking at you. Yea, but he's looking at me THAT way. Calm down. It has nothing to do with you. He just doesn't like what we're eating.
• Who has to (insert any chore here)--This one makes no sense to me. By the time they figure out who was the last person to do it and work out some system for who should do it now, it could have been done ten times.

It is funny to recount these now, but, in the moment, they are far from pleasant. I feel like a broken record. Let these two principles govern your actions: (1) Love one another and (2) Do to others what you would have them do to you. But, it just doesn't sink in. CONFLICT! I often feel like I am trying to help people make peace who don't even want to make peace. That is kind sorta really really hard. I actually gave myself a time out yesterday. In the car. 

One of my pastors says, "God does not waste anything." In my frustration with all the conflict, I was missing seeing God's purpose. I'm sure there are many purposes for the conflict, but here are a few things that I am thinking about. 

1. Sin is in us. As long as we live on this earth, we will battle against sin. Sin in our hearts will tempt us to be self-loving and other-hating. Sin will breed quarrels. 
2. Jesus died for our sins. God sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross. He suffered the penalty for sin for one reason: LOVE. It is only by faith in His sacrificial love for us that we can have peace with God.
3. This world is not my home. I am just passing through this world. I am not going to get comfy here. There are going to be quarrels and fighting this side of heaven. I am so looking forward to eternity in heaven with a holy and righteous God. No crying. No pain. No fighting.

Compassion

Along with many other members of our church, we sponsor a child through Compassion in Guayaquil, Ecuador. I even had the opportunity to visit our sponsored child last summer! In addition, our elementary and youth ministries each sponsor a child in the same region. Recently, I read an article highlighting the effects of COVID-19 in this region of Ecuador. To say that this region has been hit hard is an understatement. The death toll over the next few months is estimated to be between 2,500 and 3,500.

I have not cried so hard or so much in a very long time. The tears are not just sad tears but also angry tears. I don't even know who I am angry with. I am just angry that there is such a disparity between the rich and the poor in this world. Yesterday, I read John 12:1-8, where Mary anoints Jesus feet with expensive perfume to prepare him for burial. The words of John 12:8 stood out: For you always have the poor with you... Right now, I am wondering do I really? Do I really have the poor with me? There is something wrong in my heart and my mind because I do not have the poor with me. Please bear with me. I hope my thoughts will become clear soon.

This pandemic has affected each one of us in some ways. Some of the ways people have been affected in our area are:

1. Many can't find toilet paper or elastic. We are stocked, but others have found it hard to come by!
2. My husband is working from home full-time. We are fortunate that he does computer simulations, so his work is not disrupted for the most part. Others at UCI have had to shut down labs for the time being.
3. Sports have been canceled. For my family, this means no soccer practice for Mary and no swim practice for the others. No soccer games or tournaments. No swim meets.
4. All classes are canceled or moved online. We homeschool, but do virtual Spanish classes. This hasn't changed much, but that our Spanish teachers are conducting classes out of their homes rather than the center. With our Tuesday virtual classes, we have been "suffering" with the teachers in learning how to use the technology. The biggest challenge has been finding enough quiet space for each child to participate in their classes simultaneously. 
5. All worship and Bible studies and accountability groups have moved online.
6. Recreational facilities are closed. In our neighborhood, we have four swimming pools, tennis courts, basketball courts, and so may playgrounds. All are closed.
7. Libraries are closed. Maybe this is a plus to some, but our kids love going to the library on the weekends and stocking up on books.
8. Restaurants offer carry out only. We don't eat out much, so this is not a big deal for us honestly, but I do my once a week milk tea from Cha.
9. Doctor's office have moved to telemedicine.

While life for us has changed significantly in that much that was available before is no longer available, I can't help but marvel at the irony that I am "suffering" because of my wealth. Perhaps, part of what God is working in my heart through this pandemic is a deeper compassion for those in Ecuador and other places in the world who struggle to provide the basic necessities for their families. Perhaps

1. Seeing store shelves ransacked should make me have compassion for those who struggle to eat only one meal a day
2. Converting a closet into a work from home office should make me have compassion for those who live with many families in one house with holes in the walls and roof.
3. Washing my hands over and over should make me have compassion for those who don't have access to clean water
4. Perhaps the canceling of all sports activities should make me have compassion for those who have no shoes
5. Struggling with distance learning should make me have compassion for those who are not able to read or write or count
6. Not being able to go to the library should make me have compassion for those who have nothing to read
7. Not being able to go to the doctor should make me have compassion for those who do not have Tylenol or bandaids let alone access to a doctor or a hospital
8. Most important of all, perhaps worshiping online should make me have more compassion for those who do not have a Bible or are cut off from their church community.

So, for me I think I am learning that I do have the poor with me and how to pray more for the poor with me.

Unpopular & Popular Things

I've been kind of getting a little depressed with all of the news lately, so I gotta lighten things up today. I've seen these lists float around Facebook, so I'm gonna give it a go.

10 Unpopular Things I Love

1. Washing Dishes--For some inexplicable reason, this is my favorite chore. I guess that's a good thing because we make loads of dirty dishes. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner x8 plus many snacks.
2. Mowing the Lawn--For those who have been to my house, you may have noticed that we have no grass. This saddens me, but I know my native plants are saving water.
3. Documentaries--When I have free time, I love, love, love watching documentaries. From mountain climbing to barista competitions to the Spanish flu, I find documentaries fascinating.
4. Running--OK, this one is a gamble because running could be considered popular or unpopular depending on the company you keep. It seems to me that it's more often unpopular, so it's on the list. I LOVE running on trails, especially in our local preserve area.
5. Spreadsheets--I guess some people consider this bean counting or tedious, the equivalent of watching paint dry. Well, not me. You need a spreadsheet, I'm your gal.
6. Editing--Sometimes I wonder if enjoying editing is sinful, like does enjoying correcting other's mistakes in writing stem from the same root as pointing out faults in others. 
7. Organizing--My family loves and hates this one. Sometimes, they thank me for finding new ways to organize things in the home; other times they complain that they can't find anything anymore.
8. Staying Home--I'm an introvert at heart, so venturing out is the struggle.
9. Frosting--These days many are trying to cut back their sugar intake, myself included. Still, you keep the cake; I'll take the frosting.
10. Jesus & the Gospel--I am so thankful to call Jesus my Savior AND my Lord. I made a commitment to follow Him many years ago. I have not walked perfectly, but I DO love Him and seek to live a life to bring glory and honor to Him. He alone is worthy of all the praise, honor, and glory!

10 Popular Things I Can Do Without

(No explanation on these because it's obvious, at least to me.)

1. Matcha
2. Coconut
3. Malls
4. Santa
5. Electric Scooters
6. Gaming Systems
7. Travel
8. Electronic Toys
9. The Beach
10. Video Baby Monitor

God Is Faithful

GOD is faithful. If my heart needs to be reminded of any truth right now, this is it. GOD is faithful. This is what God impressed upon my heart and my mind through my reading thus far this week. In Genesis 20, our patriarch Abraham commits a sin. He lies. He tells people in Gerar that his wife Sarah is his sister. If you're like me, you read that and have to re-read it because it just sounds so unbelievable. The great patriarch, the one who left his country at the age of 75 to go to a foreign land...he lied? This is the one who later will nearly sacrifice his only son, the son of promise, for God. WHY would Abraham lie? I kind of wanted to just go back in time and march up to him and say, "But, Abraham, in you I am going to be blessed. Don't do it. You have nothing to fear!"

Lying. We have all done it as some point in our lives. Why? Why does anyone lie? Because we're AFRAID. We are afraid someone will find out what we really are. We are afraid someone will hurt us. We are afraid we will get caught. We are afraid. When confronted by the king of Gerar, Abraham says: "Because I thought...they will kill me because of my wife." Whoa. Abraham was afraid. If he is afraid, then he is not exercising faith because fear and faith are opposites. It seems that somehow for some reason, Abraham's faith is weak at this point. Had he forgotten the promise? Had he forgotten the blessing? Had he forgotten the covenant? IDK.

What happens next, though, is even more amazing! Certainly, God could have rejected him for this lack of faith. We know he didn't. I found myself asking God why. Why didn't You reject Him? Why didn't You choose someone else? I think the answer is found in Genesis 15. God made a covenant with Abraham. God is faithful and will not break His covenant. Ever. He cannot because He is not a man that He should lie or change His mind.

One of the verses I have been committing to memory is Hebrews 11:8: By faith, Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was going. How is it that Abraham, whose faith faltered, is exalted for his faith and held up as an example for us to emulate? My conclusion is simply that GOD is faithful. We forget. We sin. We fail. We are faithless. But GOD! GOD is and always will be faithful. Abraham was able to be faithful for this one reason: GOD is faithful.

I have no idea what the future holds. I feel tempted to be anxious and afraid a lot. Especially now. Yet, I will set my hope fully upon God, this God, the God of Abraham and Isaac and Jacob, the God who has adopted me into His family and called me His child, His beloved. I screw up all the time, but He is ever and always faithful.

Staying Connected

The COVID-19 pandemic has turned so many households and routines upside down. In our case, David is now working at home in his new office in our closet. Closets, I have found, are extremely versatile. This closet has served as a bedroom for Josiah first and then Chaeli. It has also served as a sewing room for me where I cut and sewed Mary's Glinda costume. Now, it is a home office for The Professor. This week he begins teaching virtually, which is actually not a big adjustment for him, since he uses Zoom often in his work. This has been a huge challenge for many professors, but it's a win for the geeks. One huge benefit for our family of this outbreak is the limits on travel. I know some may be really disappointed by this, but for those of us with spouses who travel often for work, it's a win. In fact, I am even hoping that once people see how much can be accomplished virtually that his future work travel will be reduced!

For the kids, we are continuing with school as usual. On Tuesdays, they take classes at a Learning Center through our charter school. Those classes are now virtual and are 45 minutes each rather than 90 minutes. The kids no longer have soccer or swimming, but they have still been able to get exercise running, riding bikes, jumping in the trampoline, and even climbing up and down their triple bunk bed. Really, who needs a climbing gym? At first, the closure of pools was an adjustment for me. I just really like having a little bit of time when the house is actually quiet. Crazy, I know. So, now we have a mandatory quiet time in the afternoon. One hour of reading in your room. Even for Mama. It is the highlight of my day because it is the time when I am able to read and study and reflect on God's Word, which is the source of any strength I possess.

While these changes have been minimal, our church lives have been changed significantly. Our lives are centered around our church and church functions, so we spend a lot of time there. Bible studies, AWANA, Youth Group, Maintenance Team, and Sunday Worship. I didn't even realize until now, that with all these combined, some fraction of us are at church six days out of seven. Of course, since the stay at home order, none of this is happening at church. But, that does not mean that it is not happening. Our leaders have worked very hard to establish ways in which we can remain connected as a church during this stay at home order and for this I am extremely grateful. Below are some of the ways:

1. Online worship services--We continue to worship with our church online.  Our pastor prepares and delivers sermons to an empty sanctuary so that we can worship as a family at home. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to preach to an empty sanctuary not being able to see the reactions on people's faces or whether anyone is even paying attention at all. I found that it's actually really helpful to pretend I am actually going to church and to shower and dress and do my hair as I would for a Sunday. Since I know there are more distractions at home, I found that I am actually more vigilant about preparing ahead of time. 
2. Online Bible studies--Another one of our pastors continues to lead us in a study through the book of Ephesians. I am thankful for his commitment to the word and helping us to study it accurately. It must be so awkward to speak to an empty room and to prepare a power point that you show to no one, but we really are watching!
3. Virtual Small Groups--I have been able to meet with my Bible study small group virtually and, actually, we have drawn into closer fellowship having deeper and more meaningful conversations. Sometimes, I feel so awkward when there is silence, so I just start talking, but silence isn't as awkward when you're online, haha. 
4. Devotions--Our church leaders have been recording and sharing videos about their reflections through the Word in light of the current events. These reflections have been so encouraging because they are so real and open and honest. They share their struggles and thoughts and what verses God has been using to encourage them.  
5. Children's Ministry--I think all of us involved in Children's Ministry are concerned for the children in our church. We don't want them to become spiritually impoverished during their time away from church. Each ministry has sought ways to connect with the kids. Chaeli's teachers have been recording videos of her lessons for us to watch at home. It has been great to see the lessons and the enthusiasm the teachers bring to their lessons. For the elementary kids, we have been recording videos every couple of days to share our thoughts from our studies through Ephesians and fun activities to do at home. The youth group has gone above and beyond, continuing to hold virtual youth group Fridays and Sundays as well as extra devotional time during the week. 
6. Watch Parties and More--Beyond that there are watch parties and so much more that are available for us to participate in, though I haven't been able to take advantage of those yet.

I am so blessed, but still there is an inner longing to actually see my brothers and sisters and especially my Kinders in person. Virtual hugs and kisses to all!

Let the Love of Christ Shine!

As COVID-19's imminent descent upon Orange County transformed from hoax into inevitability, I observed charitable offers from members of our community. One woman offered to pick up groceries for anyone at risk in our community. Other did the same. Honestly, I was ashamed. Ashamed that the thought of even extending such an offer had not occurred to me. My thoughts had been focused on my family, in particular shielding my family from the virus in order to protect others. I have six kids, ranging in age from three to thirteen. The ones under ten (four of them) do not understand the concept of personal space, so maintaining a distance of six feet is a near impossibility. While I have tried to teach them how to cough into their elbows and how to wash their hands with soap and water, they still need to be reminded and retaught. Beyond that, they simply do things that are really gross just because they are curious. Sometimes I like to imagine their questions for a laugh. Hmmm...how far CAN I stick this finger up my nose? Oh, ok, that far. Well, now, what's THIS and what does it taste like? Hmmm...not good, I wonder how FAR I can flick it.

Sadly, since then, this love and concern for others has dwindled. On Wednesday, our community management made the decision to close the neighborhood pools. (No, that is not a typo. Pool is plural. We have four!) Some of the lap swimmers questioned whether it would be a possibility to keep one pool open with appropriate safety precautions, such as providing hand sanitizers for opening the gate, closing off the showers and bathrooms, and requiring sign ups for usage limiting the swimmers in the pool to three at a time. All that love turned into hatred meted out over email. Responses in disagreement to the request were unkind, harsh, and judgmental. [Y'all know I am a lap swimmer. I swim three times a week, but this was NOT my proposal. For the record!] But, what happened? Why did the love so quickly turn to hatred?

Along with some other members of our church, I have been memorizing 1 John, one chapter a month. 1 John 4:19 says: We love, because He first loved us and 1 John 3:16 says: We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us. Jesus left heaven, a place of pure holiness and perfection, to come to earth, to live among sin, for one reason: LOVE. He, the Creator of the world, became part of Creation, experiencing things such as sorrow and pain and betrayal and weariness. The most mind-blowing part of it all for me, though, is that He paid the ultimate price of death and separation from the Father not because I am so full of love for Him. Not because I am so worthy of His love. Not because I have done anything for him. Not because He had anything to gain by doing it. He died for me because of His love. 

So, now the question I am asking myself is what is my purpose here and now? It seems that 1 John 4:19 says my purpose is to love. To love in the way that Christ loved: sacrificially, expecting nothing in return, even to those who are unlovable. I haven't thought that there was much of a way for me to shine for Christ in the midst of this pandemic aside from continuing to care for my family. But, the recent exchange of emails amongst the members of my community has shown me that maybe God placed me in this community in order to express His love at this time. I am endeavoring to reach out to some of the individuals, who seemed to express vehemence, to see if they need any groceries or prescriptions or other errands. I pray that Christ's love, which is the same yesterday and today and forever, may shine through all of His children now more than ever!

Worship from the Heart

During this time of social distancing, our beloved pastors have been sharing videos with personal reflections to encourage us spiritually during this chaotic time. This morning one of our pastors encouraged us to use this time wisely out of love for Christ. Whatever we do with any extra time on our hands, let us use the time to worship Christ. As I spent some time thinking through this exhortation and how to apply it in my life right now, I decided to use this blog as a place to reflect on what God is teaching me in my devotional time with Him through the Word. I am by no means a Biblical scholar, so I am sure there will be things I share that need correction, but I welcome that because I love the Lord and my desire is to know Him and to make Him known. I believe that a key ingredient to fulfill that desire is understanding and applying the truth of His Word in my life.

This morning, I was reading chapters 11 and 12 of Genesis. These are two chapters of the Bible that I have read often in my Christian life, but still something stood out that I had not noticed before. Chapter 11 recounts the story of the Tower of Babel, where the people try to build a tower to reach to the heavens. God puts an end to it by confusing their language resulting in the scattering of the people around the world. What's so bad about building a tower? I encourage my three year old to build towers a lot. She loves it. She builds it as tall as she can and then she knocks it down. But, is this passage saying we should not be towers. I believe the problem is found in verse 4, "...let us make for ourselves a name." So, then I thought maybe the problem is not with building towers but making a name for yourself.

In chapter 12, God calls Abram to serve Him and promises him, "...[I] will make your name great." This made me stop in my tracks. What? A great name? Isn't this why God dispersed the people in the last chapter? Abram obeys God and leaves, following Him towards the land of Canaan. Twice, he stops and builds an altar to God. Having a great name is not the problem. The problem is the motivation. Abram did not seek the name itself. He sought the Lord. He followed Him wherever He led and worshiped Him along the way. The people who sought to build a great tower, on the other hand, worshiped themselves not God.

The big takeaway from these two chapters for me is that worship is a matter of the heart not the externals. The external (a great name) is in itself neither right nor wrong. The motivation can either be from a heart of self-worship as in the Babel-builders or from a heart of God-worship as in Abram. What does this mean practically? Well, if I write, may it be for the glory of God. If I homeschool, may it be for the glory of God. If I teach, may it be for the glory of God. Satan is so crafty and sneaks in wherever he can with the temptation to make a name for ourselves. Let us fight against that with the power of the Holy Spirit that we may know God and make Him known. May He receive all the glory and the honor and the power!

Till next time!

Different Yet the Same

So much in our lives has changed as a result of the spread of coronavirus to the US. Schools are closed. Restaurants, if open, only offer take out. All sports and events are canceled until further notice. The shelves and freezers at the grocery stores are bare. At the beginning, it really felt like I was watching a movie being played out in real time. Now, it seems as though I have finally adjusted to accepting social distance as the new normal. At the forefront of my mind is this thought: While so much has changed, so much remains the same.

Recently, I began a new Bible reading plan. I chose this plan because it had readings along with a journal for adults, teens, and kids. Coincidentally, last Friday, the day's reading was Job 1-2. Job experienced so much suffering, pain, and loss, things I can't ever imagine going through. Others in time and history have experienced pain, but what is unique about the book of Job is the glimpse into the spiritual realities at work. We see that God allows Satan to bring the pain and suffering, but that He is in control. It is clear that God is in control because He places a limit on Satan, that Satan may not take Job's life. This remains the same: God is in control.

Dear Coronavirus, I will not be shaken. No, no! I will not be moved. Why? Because my loving and faithful and omnipotent and unchanging God is in control.

Being a family of eight living in a three-bedroom home does not allow for much privacy or social distance indoors. We all have been rubbing against each other, creating quite a bit of friction. Arguments. Name calling. Doors slamming. Yet, what does this all reveal? Our hearts are sinful. They are desperately wicked. What do we see when we look deep within our own hearts? This past week, watching the interactions of my children is like a window into my own heart, revealing selfishness, pride, anger, greed, hate, impatience, and more. This is not new. This has always been the case, ever since Adam and Eve committed the first sin in the Garden of Eden.

Dear Coronavirus, When I see the depth of my sin, I will call out to God and He will forgive me because of Jesus' blood shed on the cross for me. You cannot accuse me. I belong to Jesus.

Every time I read the latest news about coronavirus, I read different opinions from well-renowned scientists. Not one of them knows for certain what will happen. Not one of them knows for certain who will require hospitalization. None of them knows for certain how long the virus will spread or if and when it will mutate. If man had the power to stop this virus, certainly it would have happened by now, before so many lives had been lost. But, the truth is that man is and has always been powerless. Man cannot stop the coronavirus, nor can man deal with the problem of sin. God is the only one who can heal our bodies and our hearts. As we see the limits of mankind, may we see the awesomeness of God.

Dear Coronavirus, Whatever you are, God is more. My purpose in this life is to bring Him glory and honor and praise as long as I have breath. This I will do because God is!