I have not cried so hard or so much in a very long time. The tears are not just sad tears but also angry tears. I don't even know who I am angry with. I am just angry that there is such a disparity between the rich and the poor in this world. Yesterday, I read John 12:1-8, where Mary anoints Jesus feet with expensive perfume to prepare him for burial. The words of John 12:8 stood out: For you always have the poor with you... Right now, I am wondering do I really? Do I really have the poor with me? There is something wrong in my heart and my mind because I do not have the poor with me. Please bear with me. I hope my thoughts will become clear soon.
This pandemic has affected each one of us in some ways. Some of the ways people have been affected in our area are:
- Many can't find toilet paper or elastic. We are stocked, but others have found it hard to come by!
- My husband is working from home full-time. We are fortunate that he does computer simulations, so his work is not disrupted for the most part. Others at UCI have had to shut down labs for the time being.
- Sports have been canceled. For my family, this means no soccer practice for Mary and no swim practice for the others. No soccer games or tournaments. No swim meets.
- All classes are canceled or moved online. We homeschool, but do virtual Spanish classes. This hasn't changed much, but that our Spanish teachers are conducting classes out of their homes rather than the center. With our Tuesday virtual classes, we have been "suffering" with the teachers in learning how to use the technology. The biggest challenge has been finding enough quiet space for each child to participate in their classes simultaneously.
- All worship and Bible studies and accountability groups have moved online.
- Recreational facilities are closed. In our neighborhood, we have four swimming pools, tennis courts, basketball courts, and so may playgrounds. All are closed.
- Libraries are closed. Maybe this is a plus to some, but our kids love going to the library on the weekends and stocking up on books.
- Restaurants offer carry out only. We don't eat out much, so this is not a big deal for us honestly, but I do my once a week milk tea from Cha.
- Doctor's office have moved to telemedicine.
While life for us has changed significantly in that much that was available before is no longer available, I can't help but marvel at the irony that I am "suffering" because of my wealth. Perhaps, part of what God is working in my heart through this pandemic is a deeper compassion for those in Ecuador and other places in the world who struggle to provide the basic necessities for their families. Perhaps
- Seeing store shelves ransacked should make me have compassion for those who struggle to eat only one meal a day
- Converting a closet into a work from home office should make me have compassion for those who live with many families in one house with holes in the walls and roof.
- Washing my hands over and over should make me have compassion for those who don't have access to clean water
- Perhaps the canceling of all sports activities should make me have compassion for those who have no shoes
- Struggling with distance learning should make me have compassion for those who are not able to read or write or count
- Not being able to go to the library should make me have compassion for those who have nothing to read
- Not being able to go to the doctor should make me have compassion for those who do not have Tylenol or bandaids let alone access to a doctor or a hospital
- Most important of all, perhaps worshiping online should make me have more compassion for those who do not have a Bible or are cut off from their church community.
So, for me I think I am learning that I do have the poor with me and how to pray more for the poor with me.
For me knowing that we as a "rich" country are unable to help those countries that are so very poor because we do not have enough supplies to fill our own needs is heart wrenching. Heart wrenching because we do not have enough medical supplies for our own medical community and heart wrenching because as a world power and rich country we do not have enough to share.
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