Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
I think through this verse God is telling us to think before we speak. Satan is real and he is active. And what does he most want to do? Divide! He wants to stir up conflict and quarrels and hatred and discord. I think that he's especially good at doing this through careless speech. When we fail to think before we speak, we are liable to say something hurtful, either intentionally or unintentionally. Sometimes, it is better to sit with someone in silence!
Now, please don't hear me wrong. There is definitely a time when we need to say even uncomfortable things to one another. If we see our brother sinning, then we are supposed to go to him and show him his fault. Sure, this is really awkward, but it is necessary and helpful for building one another up in the faith!
I am talking about expressing our opinions about things not specifically addressed in the Bible, areas in which Christians can differ. We could do a world of good by taking time before airing our opinions on such disputable matters, especially when our opinion is unsolicited. Opinions are just that opinions. God created and formed each one of us in a distinctly unique and special and valuable way. To think that we know the best way for every person to do something negates this very idea! We may have figured out the best way for us to do something, but if we are all unique individuals, why would we think it is the best way for that other person over there who is nothing like me to complete this task?
I could probably share countless examples from my personal life where I have said something and thought afterwards, "Uggghhhh! Why did I say that?" But, I think I'll limit myself to just one. The other day, my husband was making oatmeal for breakfast. (He is so wonderful to take care of breakfast most mornings so that I can exercise on my elliptical machine!) Of course, he didn't do things the same way I would have. I let him know about my "better" way of doing things. The question is why. Why did I even feel the need to tell him about my "better" way? Was it because I care about his efficiency in oatmeal preparation? Was it to boost my ego by proving that I can do something better? The answers to these questions can produce some shocking and, as the case may be, ugly revelations concerning our hearts!
Since I am kind of an all-or-nothing sort of person, thinking about this makes me want to just zip my lips permanently. But, that's not what this verse says either. We are still supposed to talk to one another. We need one another. We need to build one another up! We need to be built up by one another! How can we do this? I think a big hurdle to overcome is realizing that silence is okay. There's the saying, "Speak your mind." Well, I don't think we need to do it. I don't need to know every thought you have. You don't need to know every thought I have. Instead, it may be helpful to prayerfully consider some questions before we open our mouths, such as:
- Why do I want to say this?
- Will this be helpful or hurtful?
- Am I trying to show how great I am?
- Will what I say build this person up or bring them down?
- Is this my personal opinion or preference or is this something the Bible speaks to?
- Has this person asked me what I think about xxx?
- Does the Holy Spirit want me to say this?
I totally agree with this. I would like to add from experience that two people can be in the same room, not say a word and yet be connected.
ReplyDeleteI have to say I keep thinking about this post and even printed it out as a reminder for myself.
ReplyDeleteTina M.