Discipleship in the Home

The other night, our church held an informal panel discussion concerning discipleship in the home.  David and I were asked to represent the preschool age group and share our perspective.  Well, it pretty much went horribly...I didn't communicate very well at all what was in my heart and mind about this topic which I think is so important!  We hoped that we could encourage others, but I fear we brought discouragement!  I hope to repair any damage with this post! 

When we first had children, we were blessed to be part of a church that taught us a lot about the importance of family worship.  From the Bible, we believe that our children are born sinners.  They have lots of needs and are dependent upon us for many things, but their greatest need is to come to know Jesus Christ personally and to trust in Him alone for their eternal salvation.  We believe we have the responsibility as parents to do all that we can to bring our children to Jesus.  To that end, together as a family, we talk about Jesus, who He is and what He has done; we worship Him with songs and hymns; and we pray to Him.  

We started having Bible Time when our oldest child, Mary, was a baby.  Then, we read a story from a Children's Bible and prayed.  Over the years, as our needs have changed, Bible Time has grown and morphed into its current form.  Nowadays, we gather in our living room for Bible Time after the dinner dishes are cleaned up, which is usually around 7 pm in our house.  This is our typical routine:

1. Read a story from a Children's Bible Storybook for Maggie
2. Sing two Children's songs
3. Read a passage from the Bible for Mary
4. Summarize the prayer requests for a country from Operation World
5. Sing a hymn
6. Pray

I know it sounds like a lot, but I think it really only takes about 15 minutes.  We have never had trouble with the kids not enjoying themselves, which is more because of our kids' personalities than our parenting!  As you notice, though, we do break it up quite a bit with reading and singing.  The kids really enjoy the songs, especially when they involve getting up and doing motions.

So, that's where most of the "formal" instruction happens, but I would say that most of the discipleship actually happens during the other "moments" in the day.  Discipleship happens every time a child disobeys.  Every act of disobedience is an opportunity to share the love of God in Jesus Christ with our children.  Discipleship happens every time a child faces a difficult task.  It is an opportunity to go to God in prayer and ask Him for help.  Discipleship happens every time there is a conflict (and we have lots of them).  It is an opportunity to teach children to resolve conflicts quickly according to Biblical principles.  Discipleship happens when there are ungodly behaviors, like complaining and arguing.  It is an opportunity to teach children godly behaviors by reminding them of God's word, which says, "Do everything without complaining or arguing."  Discipleship happens when I screw up and ask my kids to forgive me.

Discipleship takes time and can be painful but also brings great rewards.  One of my fondest memories is when Maggie had a very difficult task to perform and we prayed.  God helped her to complete this seemingly impossible task.  She was overjoyed and told Daddy the minute he came home about how "God helped me or was it Jesus?"  Despite the theological confusion, she experienced God's answer to a specific prayer of hers that day. 

Not Pretty But Functional

I can now attest to the fact that boys are messier than girls.  Period.  Even though I mostly spoon-feed these guys, food gets everywhere. On the forehead. In the ear. Everywhere!  Quickly, I realized one bib per boy was just not going to cut it!  Then, I saw that someone transformed a waterproof bag into a really cute bib.  Inspiration!  I dug out my stash of bags.  Alas, not one was waterproof.  Disappointed but not discouraged, I remembered the big stash of old, worn cloth diapers sitting in the laundry room awaiting their fate as cleaning rags.  Perfect bib material!  I just cut a curve for the neck and then sewed ties on using some extra fabric I had from curtains.  Voila!  I realize these are not going to win any awards for either cuteness or stitchery, but, hey, they are functional!  Plus, a cute bib might detract from the cute faces anyways:)

A Number of Firsts!

On Saturday, all six of us took a grand adventure to Ocean Springs, Mississippi, for a judo tournament.  This was our first all-day outing with the boys, a huge endeavor.  This was our first trip to Mississippi.  And, this was my first judo tournament.  I wasn't actually planning to go because, well, I just wasn't really up for the challenge of handling the boys all day in a gymnasium not to mention the 1 1/2 hour drive there and back in the car.  For some reason, though, I woke up and was determined to make it work.  Although I was a little bit worried when half of the food I had packed for the boys was consumed before 9:30, the boys did great and even slept for a little while in a very crowded and noisy gymnasium!  I am so glad I was able to be there to support Mary!  Although she lost both of her matches, I am so proud of her for going and doing her best!

As soon as her name was called, Mary galloped over with great excitement to sit "on deck"!  For most of the first match, it looked like Mary was trying to ride her opponent like a horse.  Mary even held her down for a bit, but not long enough to score any points.  She didn't do quite as much riding during the second match, but her opponent had scored more points and so she won.  Still, Mary came home with the third place trophy and is looking forward to the next tournament.

I did notice that the other clubs that were represented seemed to overemphasize winning.  We have been trying to teach Mary that it is more important how she conducts herself than whether she wins or loses.  My heart broke for some of these kids.  They were weeping because they lost.  And, in some cases, there was no one there to comfort them.  This has made me think about a few things.  First of all, I am so thankful that God's love in Christ is unconditional!  My acceptance is grounded not in my performance but solely in His love for me.  Secondly, I want my children to know that I love them.  I love them when they win.  I love them when they lose.  I love them.  My approval can neither be won or lost based upon a three-minute match.  Thirdly, I want my children to know God loves them and their happiness will be found in living to please Him not in trying to please other people around them.

And another note.  While we were there, we met a man, who also competed in the seniors, who has two sets of twin boys!  Can you imagine???  Apparently, he and his wife had a boy.  Then, they really wanted to have a girl.  Instead, they had twin boys.  So, they decided to try again for a girl.  Twin boys again!  The older set competed in their division and took first and second place:)

The Beauty of Silence!

Recently, I have been spending some time meditating on Ephesians 4:29:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

I think through this verse God is telling us to think before we speak.  Satan is real and he is active.  And what does he most want to do?  Divide!  He wants to stir up conflict and quarrels and hatred and discord.  I think that he's especially good at doing this through careless speech.  When we fail to think before we speak, we are liable to say something hurtful, either intentionally or unintentionally.  Sometimes, it is better to sit with someone in silence!

Now, please don't hear me wrong.  There is definitely a time when we need to say even uncomfortable things to one another.  If we see our brother sinning, then we are supposed to go to him and show him his fault.  Sure, this is really awkward, but it is necessary and helpful for building one another up in the faith! 

I am talking about expressing our opinions about things not specifically addressed in the Bible, areas in which Christians can differ.  We could do a world of good by taking time before airing our opinions on such disputable matters, especially when our opinion is unsolicited.  Opinions are just that opinions.  God created and formed each one of us in a distinctly unique and special and valuable way.  To think that we know the best way for every person to do something negates this very idea!  We may have figured out the best way for us to do something, but if we are all unique individuals, why would we think it is the best way for that other person over there who is nothing like me to complete this task?

I could probably share countless examples from my personal life where I have said something and thought afterwards, "Uggghhhh! Why did I say that?"  But, I think I'll limit myself to just one.  The other day, my husband was making oatmeal for breakfast.  (He is so wonderful to take care of breakfast most mornings so that I can exercise on my elliptical machine!)  Of course, he didn't do things the same way I would have.  I let him know about my "better" way of doing things.  The question is why.  Why did I even feel the need to tell him about my "better" way?  Was it because I care about his efficiency in oatmeal preparation?  Was it to boost my ego by proving that I can do something better?  The answers to these questions can produce some shocking and, as the case may be, ugly revelations concerning our hearts!

Since I am kind of an all-or-nothing sort of person, thinking about this makes me want to just zip my lips permanently.  But, that's not what this verse says either.  We are still supposed to talk to one another.  We need one another.  We need to build one another up!  We need to be built up by one another!  How can we do this?  I think a big hurdle to overcome is realizing that silence is okay.  There's the saying, "Speak your mind."  Well, I don't think we need to do it.  I don't need to know every thought you have.  You don't need to know every thought I have.  Instead, it may be helpful to prayerfully consider some questions before we open our mouths, such as:

• Why do I want to say this?  
• Will this be helpful or hurtful?  
• Am I trying to show how great I am?
• Will what I say build this person up or bring them down?  
• Is this my personal opinion or preference or is this something the Bible speaks to?
• Has this person asked me what I think about xxx?
• Does the Holy Spirit want me to say this? 

In doing so, let's build one another up:)

Hope for the Christian

Today I have had one of those frustrating sort of days--things just didn't seem to go according to "my" plan, but I read this quote concerning 1 John 3:2-3 in The Normal Church Life by P.G. Mathew and it helped me to gain some perspective:

What is our hope?  It is the parousia, the coming of the Lord.  What is our hope?  That we shall see him as he is.  What is our hope?  That when we see him, we shall be made like him and shall remain with him forever.  This is the Christian's great hope.