I Just Stay at Home

Since moving to Irvine, I have had the opportunity to meet many new people.  Upon meeting, conversation seems to naturally progress to the topic of what one does for a living.  When asked what I do, I have repeatedly heard my response: "I just stay at home."  Did you cringe?  I do every single time because of one word: just. 

There are probably many ways one can interpret my response, but I want to discuss two.  Oftentimes, we think of home as the antithesis to work.  Work is the place for, well, work.  Home is the place for rest.  To say, "I just stay at home," could have the meaning, "I do not work." It is easy for me to understand where this idea comes from, having worked in a very demanding job for seven years.  When I came home, I left the work-related stresses behind (or at least I tried to) and enjoyed some peace and quiet.  I'm sure some people I have met could easily picture me lounging around in my PJs with a mocha in one hand, a pleasure book in another, and bon-bons within reach. 

Another way to interpret my response is a comparison of degrees.  "You do something very important and noble in your work.  You save lives.  Me?  I could never do anything like that.  I just stay at home."

Staying at home is hard work.  There are stresses and, sometimes, it seems that there is no safe retreat from them!  With four children six and under, my house is only quiet when everyone is eating or sleeping!  Some days my children repeatedly disobey and do not seem to respond to discipline.  Unlike in the work situation, I cannot and will not ask them to seek a position elsewhere.  Some days, there is conflict after conflict after conflict.  We have difficulty sharing toys, Mama, food, space, pretty much everything.   Even though our reading lesson was on words with ur as in church, my child still sounds out the word "fur" incorrectly and I wonder if she will ever get it.  Probation reports?  We don't have them and if we did, what penalty would there be for not meeting probation?  Often, I feel overwhelmed with the task before me.  I see character that needs molding, but the reality is that my character needs molding, too.  There is no owner's manual that tells me what to say or do to produce the desired effect in my children or what to do when said child malfunctions!

Moreover, I believe from the Scriptures that God places a high value on the teaching and training of our children.  Although our society may not recognize its value as a vocation, God certainly does.  In Deuteronomy 6:6-7, we read, "And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."  Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." Staying at home with our children is important and noble work.

(Lest anyone misinterpret what I am trying to say, I want to be very, very clear.  I am not trying to say that I think every mom should stay at home or that every mom should homeschool.  I believe that God has a unique and special calling for each of us.  This is what He has called us to at this point in time, but I am not trying to say that I believe He has called you to the same task.) 

True confessions, some days I do stay in my PJs until noon, but that's because at least one of kids was up at the crack of dawn and there was not a moment to take a shower until naptime.  Mornings are usually so busy getting breakfast and brushing teeth and hair and making beds and putting PJs away and starting school and getting second breakfast and then snack and then...sometimes, by the time I remember to drink my tea, it's already cold. 

Being a stay at home, homeschooling mom is not easy, but I will always remember a saying on a poster my dad had in his work-out room: No pain, no gain!  And, since God has called me to this task, I know that He helps me.  When I don't know what to say or do, He guides me.  When I am frustrated, He encourages me.  When I am overwhelmed, He supports me!  In recognition of this, that child-rearing is important to God if not to society, I am adjusting my response from: "I just stay at home, " to: "I stay at home!" 

Give Thanks to the Lord

I think Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite holiday.  It is an annual reminder to me to give thanks to the Lord for the many, many undeserved blessings that I have all because of his mercy and grace to me.  (Plus, I really, really, really love turkey and cranberry sauce!)  This year, I am thankful for the following:

1. Salvation in Jesus Christ--a free and undeserved gift of God!
2. The Bible--God's love letter to His children!
3. My husband, David.  He is my best friend, a faithful husband and loving father. 
4. My daughter Mary. She is a joy to teach because she loves to learn so many different things.  She is also a capable assistant, able to get toothbrushes ready, skidaddle her brothers, fetch things, etc!  I don't know what I would do without her!
5. My daughter Maggie. I love her extra dose of cheerfulness each and every morning.
6. My son Matthew.  He has a persistent drive to figure things out.
7. My son Jonathan. His curiosity is constantly getting him into precarious situations.
8. My sister, Aunt Alicia.  She has taught my girls the importance of accessories, lip gloss, nail polish and fancy dresses!
9. My brother in law, Uncle Luke.  Not only is he the funnest uncle around, but he also takes wonderful photos of my children!
10. River Springs Charter School and the opportunity to homeschool my children!
11. Paying less than $4 a gallon for gas!
12. Berean Community Church: I am so thankful for the pastors who proclaim God's truth, for the Sunday School teachers and nursery workers who teach our children about God and his ways, and for the members who serve one another in love!
13. A one-story house!
14. Being able to walk into another room at night without fear of cockroaches!
15. Hand-me-downs.  To all those who have given us clothes over the years, thank you, thank you and thank you!  You have saved us bundles of money and hours of frustration (did I mention how much I loathe shopping?)!
16. Costco.  I love buying in bulk, and I especially love the two-seater shopping carts!
17. South Coast Midwifery.  I am so excited for the opportunity to birth Baby #5 at home!
18. In-N-Out, the best fast food burger around (and the shakes aren't bad either)! 
19. Our van that theoretically seats eight!
20. My family for tolerating my cooking!
21. Sonic Happy Hour drinks: Coke Zero with Cherry Flavor is the best!
22. Amazon and Free Super-Saver Shipping!
23. My Bob double jogging stroller--the best baby purchase we ever made!  The front wheel swivels or locks; it folds easily; it fits through standard doorframes.
24. A virtually bugless existence in Irvine!  No need for the Therapik here!
25. Read-aloud time with my kids!
26. The local public library, even if they do give me funny looks when I check out about 20 books at a time! 
27. My bread machine--homemade bread each and every morning!
28. When I'm not pregnant, my espresso machine and peppermint creamer!
29. Dark chocolate.
30. Visits from grandparents--a kind of staycation for exhausted parents!

Some Recent Happenings

Lately, I have been in my element, organizing, organizing and organizing.  I promise to post pictures of the house when things are close to presentable.  On a sadder note, our cat, Sarah, died on Saturday.  This year has been a tough one for her with her brother Abey dying and then moving across the country again and then moving to a new house.  She had been showing signs of being sick for a while.  First, she stopped trying to run outside.  Then, she holed up on our bed.  Then, she stopped eating.  I was up all night with her on Friday night because she seemed so miserable.  She moaned and was taking really rapid, shallow breaths.  She took her last breath late on Saturday night and David managed to dig through the hard clay for a proper burial spot in our sideyard.  I have to say it's kind of weird to wake up without a kitty curling up next to our feet.  The girls are coping much better than they did when Abraham died and keep asking about when we will be getting a dog.  NOT FOR A LONG TIME!

In the meantime, we got four tadpoles.  We are studying swimming creatures this year in science. Our science experiment for herps is to see whether a tad will grow more quickly when warmed by a lamp for two hours a day. We ordered the tads from http://www.growafrog.com/.   At first Mary wanted to name them Mary, Margaret, Matthew and Jonathan, but I tried to encourage her to pick gender-neutral names since we can't tell whether they are male or female yet. The new names are Sandy, Dolphiny, Swimmy, and Hopper.  Honestly, I have no idea who is who, but Mary and Maggie seem to.  And, for the record, this is really stretching me actually growing frogs inside my house. I don't think I have touched a frog in my life!  They are really low maintenance taddies.  We just feed them a scoop of food per day and change some of their water once a week.  I think we'll be able to handle this level of responsibility even after the baby is born.  I honestly didn't think about how long the frogs would live, but I have heard from a friend who also bought these for her kids that hers are three years old and still thriving!  


While David was away on a trip recently, the boys got into the diaper covers.  Of course, the girls got in on the action, too.  Mary managed to diaper each of them.  At one point, they even had some on as capes.  The good news is I think this proves that Mary is more than capable to change the baby's diapers!

In the process of moving, the boys also discovered their pillow pets from Grandma Judy.  Grandma Judy brought the boys each a pillow pet and a matching blanket, but I wouldn't let them sleep with them yet.  I still don't.  When I unpacked the box that they were in, the girls really wanted to get them out.  Aunt Alicia, you started the pillow pet craze in our house with Maggie's Dora pillow pet!  Each of the boys have latched on to their pillow pets and think they are the greatest thing ever!  I still won't let them sleep with their pillow pets yet, who are so creatively named Tiger and Doggy, but they are well played with during the daytime.

And, finally, a recent picture of the girls.  Mary now has aspirations to become the first woman president.  Maggie, on the other hand, wants to wear a dress and dance and be a princess!